The problem isn't
that you don't have enough will power to achieve what you want.
You have will power, but it's not will power you need, it's want
power.
You have to first want
You must want to change your habits, want to
lose some weight, want to give up your evening snacking before
your will comes into play. Once you want a thing badly enough,
you will do whatever it takes.
If you think you want something (to make a change
in your eating habits perhaps), but then find it difficult to
follow-through with your plans, most likely you simply want your
current reality (your current habits and patterns) more than you
want your goals (less weight, better health, etc.)
I can hear you all the way over here, telling
me I'm wrong: "No, that's not right! I want this more than
anything, I just don't have any willpower!" Round and round
you go, but the truth is, you will get what you really want. Think
back, has there ever been a time when you really wanted something?
A certain piece of clothing, a certain house, car, job, spouse?
Hum... Yes, we go after what we want, if we really want to acquire
or achieve it we do. Nothings going to fall in your lap, you've
got to go get what you want.
What's Going on?
Put another way, you may want to avoid the pain
(breaking old habits, avoiding some favorite foods, simply not
overeating...) more than you want to gain the pleasure (losing
some weight, gaining new habits, eating favorite foods in moderation
...)
Since losing weight takes time, from weeks to
months to years, it's easy to fall off the path. It's always easier
to get back into our old habits of eating, eating, and more eating.
There's always more food. Unless you are too poor to purchase
it, there's plenty food in America - in fact, too much food, and
so it becomes even more necessary to keep the longer-term goals
in mind.
How do you keep the longer-term goals in mind,
when the short-term food is staring you in the face? What about
all the treats offered, what about the commercials, the billboards,
the signs everywhere that say EAT?
Wanting, in fact, is the "W", the first
step in the W.H.A.C.K approach. See it in the free e-book, Changing
Beliefs, Your First Step to Permanent Weight Loss.
Think back to when you last really wanted something.
Wanted it more than anything, had to have it, would do just about
anything to get it. To want is a mighty powerful motivator, but
surprisingly we aren't all motivated by what we want. Some of
us are motivated by avoiding what we don't want.
What is your Motivation Strategy?
Motivation comes in two (or more) flavors. You
can be motivated towards something (what you'll gain) or you can
be motivated away from something (what you'll lose). This desiring
to avoid can be confusing. I'm saying you must want something,
and you're thinking, but I don't want to be fat. I can't think
about my future, only what I don't want. Here is what's going
on:
Motivation: Toward
If you are motivated by what you'll gain you
find it easy to look ahead and see your future shapely body, you'll
see people around you with admiring glances, you'll hear their
compliments, you'll smell the good food and feel good knowing
you can eat enough to be satisfied, and then say you're full.
You've had enough, thank you. You'll be in control of your life.
You'll want what you visualize more than anything, and you'll
do whatever it takes to get it. If asked what movie to go see,
they'll have a few ideas, and tell you why.
Motivation: Away
If you are motivated by what you'll lose you'll
focus on what you want to avoid. For example, you want to avoid
dying, you want to avoid being too heavy to enjoy playing with
the kids, you want to avoid gasping for breath when you climb
a flight of stairs. You want to avoid the embarrassment, the humiliation
of other people's remarks and rude glances. You don't want any
of that anymore, and you don't want it to the extent that you'll
do whatever it takes to avoid these things. If you ask them what
they want for dinner, they'll tell you they don't want Chinese,
or pizza. It can be difficult to get someone motivated this way
to actually say what they do want!
Knowing your motivation strategy makes it easier
to find methods that support your preferred strategy. If you are
motivated toward, you may enjoy cutting our pictures of people
in great shape with similar body types to yours. Find models wearing
clothes that would look good on you, pictures of swimming pools,
holiday places you'd enjoy; the types of things that go into a
dream board.
If you motivated away, then make a list of what
you want to avoid and elaborate on that list. Why don't you want
these things? The more detailed you are, the more likely you'll
truly do what it takes to avoid them.
Hopefully these ideas will get you thinking,
and much about making changes in our lives comes down to thinking
it through. Realizing what we really want can get us past the
hurdles of what we already have. To affect change isn't necessarily
comfortable, until you've worked at it for awhile, and then suddenly
your changed behavior has become your new behavior and the effort
is over.
Kathryn Martyn, is a Master NLP
Practitioner, EFT counselor, and author of Changing Beliefs, Your
First Step to Permanent Weight Loss. Visit OneMoreBite-Weightloss.com
to see how she gave up 80 pounds over 20 years ago and how you
can do the same.
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