| From the moment
we wake in the morning our heads start to fill with all sorts
of thoughts. What will you give the kids for breakfast? Will you
get the time to iron your blouse before you leave for work? What
will you do if you miss the bus? And so it goes on.
The first clue to turning your life around and making it happier
is to stop using negative thought. You probably aren't even aware
that you're doing it but when you say "I was hit by a car and
now I've got a broken arm" and feel angry about it, you're using
a negative attitude. If you'd said "I was hit by a car but luckily
I escaped with just a broken arm" and feel relived about it, you're
tackling life with a positive attitude.
The question should never be "why did it happen to me?" but "what
can I do to improve things now that it's happened."
The tips below will help you understand what you could be doing
wrong and help you turn around your negative attitude, helping
you cope with life and enjoy a brighter future.
1. SEE LIFE AS THE ENEMY
The whole world's out to get you, isn't it? Or, if not, maybe
just certain groups of people?
By being suspicious of others' motifs and believing that they
have some hidden agenda that includes hurting you, you'll keep
people at arm's length and never make new friends or improve the
friendships you already have.
For the person who's wrapped up in a negative world, the result
is that they have an excuse to not go out and meet people. Meeting
people would mean they'd have to be friendly and that takes too
much effort.
For a more positive outlook on life you need to understand that
most people are far too busy running their own lives to bother
hurting you. Being friends is far more pleasant than being enemies
so why would they want to put so much energy into something they'd
have nothing to gain from?
2. BE LAZY
Again, by avoiding the gym or any other form of exercise you
won't need to meet people and be pleasant.
We have enough knowledge nowadays to know that exercise is important,
not only to our physical well-being but also to our mental health.
Eat a few fatty snacks while you're veg-ing in front of the TV
and you'll soon be feeling too tired and lethargic to move! Just
don't start moaning when you start suffering from all kinds of
health problems that are associated with lack of exercise, from
osteoporosis to coronary artery disease. Yes, lack of exercise
is nearly as dangerous as smoking!
Next time the sun's shining, put on some comfortable clothes
and go for a walk. Exercise releases adrenaline and therefore
reduces stress so you'll definitely feel better for it.
3. DON'T KEEP UP APPEARANCES
If you don't go out much, who's going to see you anyway? And
even if you did, who'd care?
You should care, that's who!
When you don't bother to put on your make-up or do your hair
properly, you're just telling the world that you're not as important
as the rest of the people around you. Before you know it you won't
even bother to wash, and you'll be walking around in wrinkled,
un-ironed clothes. Hell, why even bother to get dressed at all?
Just lay around in your night clothes watching TV all day, why
don't you?
Even if you're just nipping to the shop make sure you look, if
not your best, at least presentable. How others view you will
eventually reflect in how you view yourself. When you have a positive
attitude towards yourself, you're far more likely to see life
in a positive manner, too.
4. TAKE THE LONESOME TRAIL
If you hide yourself away at home, you won't have to meet other
people who are still able to be happy, even though they're undoubtedly
suffering many of the same problems as you, plus as few of their
own. Why would you want to accept that others could have problems
and still be cheerful?
Get out there and spend time with friends. Experiencing other
people dealing with their lives in a positive manner can do wonders
to how you feel about your own life. If their cup's half full
while yours is half-empty, ask yourself why. What are they doing
that you're not?
5. GET OFF YOUR HEAD
Do you get yourself drunk or stoned in order to forget your woes?
I bet you're having great fun while you're falling all over the
place, spilling and breaking things as you go, aren't you? And
by the time you wake up in the morning, all of your problems will
have magically disappeared, won't they?
No? Why not?
Because no matter how much you drink, smoke or inject yourself
with illegal substances, the only things you'll change are your
ability to do your job; the way your family feels around you;
your health as you deprive your body of important nutrients; and
if you think you've got problems now, just wait until your bank
balance starts to diminish even further!
Put the bottle, joint or pills away and accept that they aren't
going to make your problems go away - they're just going to add
to them.
6. PLAY THE VICTIM
Isn't it awful when the world owes you something but just isn't
giving it? That chip on your shoulder just keeps getting bigger
and bigger until in the end, the world is probably the last place
you want to be.
The truth is, the world owes you nothing. Regardless of who's
done what to you and why, nobody but yourself can do anything
to change things.
Sure, when somebody's upset us it'd be nice to receive and apology
but what if we don't? Where will sitting about stewing get us?
If you think that playing the victim will make others want to
be with you, you're wrong. They may feel sorry for you but not
for the reasons you'd think.
Nobody wants to be with miserable people and you think they should
then you're simply being selfish. Misery breeds misery and you've
no right to expect others to want some of yours!
Whatever's happened to make you unhappy, let it go! It's in the
past and none of that matters anymore. You've got a future ahead
of you and only you can make it bright.
7. HIDE IN YOUR SHELL
If you keep yourself to yourself and don't tell anybody anything,
nobody will be able to hurt you, right?
Well, there's some truth in that, but by the same token, nobody
will be able to support you when you need it, laugh with you,
cry with you or just be there, either.
People need people - we're designed that way. If you insist on
being a closed book you'll only have yourself to blame when you
become a lonely old person with nobody to turn to.
Accept that some people will hurt you. It happens to all of us.
It's part of life and we have to learn to deal with it. They're
not important. It's those who care about us and only want what's
best for us that matter.
8. MAKE FRIENDS WITH THE EVIL GREEN MONSTER
Don't you just hate it when your neighbour buys a new car and
you're still stuck with your 10 year old Ford? And "By Jove, they're
having new furniture delivered - again!"
Do you really believe that life will improve once you've bought
a bigger house, had a baby, been on a foreign holiday or re-decorated
the living room, don't you? There's always something that will
make you feel better than you are right now.
The problem with the desire to have what others have, and what
you believe you also have a right to, is that when you've finally
get that house you'll then what better furniture for it. When
you've furnished it to your taste (which will probably take years),
you'll want to have the garden improved, a new car, a better job
- there's always something more.
Don't fall for it! If you get the things you'd like to have then
good for you - just don't let them hinder your chance of happiness
along the way.
Look around you and appreciate the things you DO have instead
of focusing on those you don't. No matter how little you think
you have, if you're able to sit at a computer and read this, then
trust me, there are people not far from you who are far worse
off than you are!
9. STICK FIRMLY IN THE MUD
Weren't things so much better in the old days? You didn't have
to fear being raped, mugged or murdered every time you left the
house back then, did you? The newspapers weren't full of bad news
and people actually cared about each other.
Does that sound like you?
How do you think others manage to cope with the changes in life,
and the world? It's simple really; they just get out there and
get on with their lives. They try to see the good in modern developments
rather than dwelling on how things were in the past. By living
in a time that no longer exists, you're cutting yourself off from
friends, family, and your entire social network and taking a very
negative attitude to life.
10. ALWAYS LOOK ON THE DARK SIDE
We all have problems - each and every one of us. Some more than
others and some more serious than others.
What those problems are is immaterial; what matters is how we
deal with them.
If you look at your problems as hurdles that are stopping you
from moving forward in your life then they're attacking you. It's
only when you start seeing them as a challenge, or an opportunity
even, that you're the one doing the attacking.
Keep a positive outlook regardless of what life throws at you
and you'll stand a far better chance of dealing with your problems
and enjoying the time you've been given to spend on earth.
Be happy - you're worth it!
~~+~~+~~
Sharon Jacobsen is a freelance writer living in South Cheshire,
England, with her partner Richard, also a writer. Having had more
than her fair share of problems thrown at her, Sharon truly understands
the philosophy of a positive attitude. To contact Sharon, please
visit her website at http://www.sharon-jacobsen.co.uk/
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