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In the dynamics of the self-concept and in the tendency to
self-actualization are found the primary causes of Shyness and
Social Anxiety Disorder / Social Phobia. It seems that these conditions
result from the introduction, in the self-concept, of the elements
which obstruct self-actualization. This obstruction is damaging
and experienced as discomfort inasmuch as it precludes that a
given force, self-actualization, expands. We will detail each
part.
Self-concept
What the self-concept is - the set of
values and beliefs, conscious or accessible to one's consciousness,
as well as attitudes and opinions the individual has of himself,
of himself as regards others, the world and all that one's mind
can reach.
In the case of Shyness or Social Anxiety, the concepts must be
examined:
- as regards himself;
- as regards himself vis à vis the other person.
Concepts as regards oneself - are predominantly
depreciative. Examples: "I've got nothing to talk to other people
about", "I am not able to face life", "I am ugly", "I am not knowledgeable",
"I am not intelligent", "I feel unprotected, like a child", "It
is awful when someone belittles me", "I cannot stand being rejected",
"I am not nice to be with", "I have no presence of mind", "I cannot
tell jokes or interesting tales", "Indeed I do have 'that' problem",
"I am ashamed by 'that' problem of my parents". Many of these
concepts - or similar concepts - fit neatly into what is known
as low self-esteem or beliefs.
Concepts of oneself vis à vis the other person
- this "other" being perceived as stronger, more capable and intrinsically
hostile. Examples: "People are ready to jump on me and criticize
me", "Everybody has a boy/girlfriend, except me", "Nobody gives
a hoot about what I say", "People may not actually come right
out and say it, but they do not think well of me", "Everyone sees
me as a child and will try to take advantage of me", "If I react,
he / she will catch me from behind", "Other folks are always judging
me", "They will make fun of me, depending on what I say", "If
they do not laugh at me in my face, they will surely do it behind
my back", "What if they discover 'that' problem?", "If I blow
it or shoot myself in the foot, everybody will know about it",
"No one look at me with respect".
Previous experiences - For these concepts
to be impregnated into one's self, the person will have gone through
lasting experiences.
Self-actualization
Tendency to Self-Actualization - A concept
created by Kurt Goldstein in 1940 and later widely used by Carl
Rogers, it means a basic force which drives the person forward
and onwards. This force has biological and psychological aspects.
In the psychological field there are forces which drive us on
in several directions. When these forces are obstructed, we feel
discomfort.
Social Anxiety Disorder and Shyness - Feelings
Feelings experienced through Shyness and Social
Anxiety - These are feelings one experiences when a situation
brings up depreciative aspects of self-concept and the threat
represented by the other person. Example: the individual whose
self concept says "I have nothing to talk to other people about"
and he faces someone whom he figures is about to criticize him
- will feel discomfort in that situation. In fact, this discomfort
is a set of feelings and emotions, threat and danger being rather
common - this is known as anxiety. Then this anxiety arises from
the obstruction of the force that drives the person to social
integration.
Anguish is also highlighted and in many situations
it preceeds reactive depression, i. e., it preceeds the depression
as a consequence of the situation.
The person feels threatened in social situations
or facing the prospect of such situations. In feeling the threat,
he/she undergoes physiological reactions which prepare the organism
for flight in order to survive. Flight is one's natural way out
in Social Anxiety Disorder because, according to his self concept,
the person has no weapons to fight off the threat.
Although there is no physical risk, what is felt
is at the same levels of physical risk and can be as high as the
risk of losing one's life. It is a threat of psychological death,
of no longer existing as a person, of disintegrated self. At a
lower intensity level, one's impression is that of coming to suffer
major losses.
Instintictively, the person avoids threatening
situations, i. e., avoids contacts with others. If alone or with
relatives or with a friend, then there is no threat or it is lower.
A natural consequence is the loneliness of solitude.
Deadlocks - In many situations, flight
is impossible. In other situations, the inner force, in the form
of desire, of need, is very intense. What to do in such deadlocks?
People find adaptive ways. Example: they develop behaviors in
order not to allow that the hostility - which they think others
harbor towards them - to come to the surface. Among such behaviors
are common changes in one's tone of voice, the use of auxiliary
verbs, the use of the verbal conditional tense, milder gestures,
verbal economy. Through such actions, they judge that they control
the hostility that they think exists in others.
Concretely, they begin to speak in a lower voice,
use expressions such as "I wonder whether you could?", "Perhaps
you might be able to", "Could it be that you might do this?",
"Were it possible, I would like", and they develop verbal mannerisms,
speak little, beat endlessly around the bush before coming to
the point, and so forth and so on.
The person who is not able to make these adaptations
or regards them as insufficient constantly feels that disintegration
is about to take place. In other words, he or she lives in constant
apprehension.
It becomes evident that the dynamics of self-concept
and self-actualization play a central role in the Shyness and
Social Anxiety Disorder. To overcome them the person needs to
change these dynamics.
Ruy Miranda is a Brazilian Physician and a former
University Professor. He obtained his doctorate in Psychiatry
in 1965. In Social Anxiety Disorder website he offers a wealthy
of free articles on Shyness and Social Anxiety Disorder / Social
Phobia. He is author of the novel "The Saga of a Shy Fellow" which
excerpts you may want to read at http://www.social-anxiety-shyness-info.com/novel/sample-online/index.htm
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